Run It

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” – C. Joybell C.

It started with a breakdown…

Everything came crashing down within 7 days. The irony is not lost on me.

I started nosediving months before that. My car broke down. I committed to a way higher payment than I could afford for a new one. I was increasingly over my job. I cut things off with someone I wasn’t even that into in the first place…but it still wasn’t fun.

Nothing all that horrible. It just kind of sucked…being overwhelmed sucks…

At the end of March, it all caught up to me. I had a panic attack that landed me in the ER. (and put my car payments on pause). Two days later, I had a full blown breakdown…and back to the ER I went. They put me on home supervision (thank gawd for best friends!) and I didn’t return to work for a couple days. The day after my return, I got a cold and was home bound again. During my sick day, my job called and informed me that I had been laid off due to restructuring. The next day I decided to move to L.A…because that’s what you do when sh*t hits the fan.

In a matter of 7 days, everything was different. That was 4 months ago. I’m not a fan of trite sayings but when my life went to pieces, I decided to build something new. It felt like that’s what I had to do. I was fully aware that a whole book in my life had ended.

So here we are with a new book full of blank pages. Things are weird. After a month or so of unsuccessful job hunting, I decided I wasn’t going to work for anyone else again. As soon as I deemed myself a freelancer, I discovered I had way more hustle than I thought. I’m no longer bound to the day to day drudgery we all find ourselves stuck in at some point. All of a sudden, I’ve got full creative control over this new book.

As much as I love it, I’m under no illusion that it’s always going to be instaworthy boss babe greatness. There’s going to be scribble and doodles and cross-outs and a ripped pages. It’s going to be messy. But I’m so ready!

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